Have you ever said to yourself, “Wow, that Comcast company, they’ve really put together a great customer service team”?
Yeah, me neither. As many folks will know, I’m moving, and today is the day internet gets switched from the old apartment to the new. That means I might be unavailable for a few days. That’s not supposed to happen, but it’s Comcast, so who knows. If you don’t see me poking around here, I’m still caring about all you peeps and know that I will be back as soon as I can.
And I haven’t forgotten that when the need to move hit last month, many of you contributed one-time donations or bought subscriptions to keep me housed and this wild Pervert Justice enterprise going. You are a huge part of why I’ve got this new roof over my head. Or will, later today. Or whatever. You get what I’m articulating, right? I remind you that this is the wordsmithing you paid for.
In the meantime, I’m going to call out a couple of recent developments, as much so that I can reference them later as to make sure you see them today. Don’t have time in this middle of this move to provide much context or analysis. ALSO, TOO: Fucking content warning. Shit’s bad out there right now, folks. I honestly didn’t anticipate how bad these first couple weeks were going to be, and I’m supposed to be the pessimist curmudgeon around here.
Right then, a couple quick hits.
First let’s steal a couple quick hits from a pair of BlueSky posters. Jay Edidin got it started with this observation on how even the language of allies sometimes reduces humans to instruments.
#1: Rhetoric and Instrumentality vs. Humanity
And while Edidin is speaking of how trans people have been used rhetorically on BlueSky and elsewhere this past little while, I’ve also seen similar language used for immigrants and people with disabilities. Using other people’s lives as your warning system is foul in its basic concept, but it rarely gets called out because the people who use this language aren’t demons and they do care about trans folks, immigrants, and people with disabilities. It’s not what these people want to say that’s bad, it’s just how it tumbles out of the mouth sometimes.
Jess Carey added this tightly related observation about people trying to use Niemoller without being boring:
For both Edidin and Carey, the point isn’t that people are trying to be enemies, but that if you think about the framing, many of us are using others’ lives as warnings, as trip wires, waking folks up to the need to defend themselves. The Niemoller poem can be read - and I think most fairly is read - to say that we’re all in this together, stupid. An injury to one is an injury to all. But it can also be read in a selfish way: don’t care about other people because they’re people, defend others because it’s in your own best interest to have others around to defend you when fascists point their guns your way.
While this second reading is a pessimistic, cynical view of things, look around at what is going on. You think it’s easy to be optimistic right now? For all my out life, which is more than 30 years now, being trans in public has been exhausting. The last two weeks of accelerated hell has been exhaustinger. Your clever references and wordplay and political strategy all have value. It’s not false that Trump and his allies are trying to flood the media with too many stories to cover, and in that sense his attacks on trans people are distractions from his attacks on the civil service. But it is literally no less true that his attacks on civil service workers are distractions from his attacks on trans people.
These are dangerous times, and if you’re only an ally to immigrants or federal employees or folks with CP because you’re afraid the government will come for you next, okay. I get it. It’s human to worry about yourself a little more than you worry about others, and to worry about the folks you know and love and live with a little more than large, vague groups. No one is evil for calling trans people “the canary in the coal mine.”
Even so, it might be good during your downtime when you catch a breath, to just think about your language for a moment. After all, in the canary metaphor, no one cares until the canary is dead and then they take that as their sign to save themselves. No one is saving the canary. I seriously doubt that’s how anyone using the metaphor feels about Springfield’s Haitians or Florida’s trans felons, but it is the metaphor’s original meaning, so it’s not crazy, given everything else going on these days, for the marginalized to worry that we will be left to die.
I don’t want to be your sepia image of a moral lesson in striped pyjamas. We say, “Never again!” though it has already happened again, and again. And in the aftermath of mass death, you can count our bodies and round to the nearest thousand and discuss the meaning of our slaughter to those still alive and we will not care, because in death there is no need for your meaning. But right now, before the slaughter accelerates, there are some people who are taking a sledgehammer to the chest when it seems your metaphors accept in advance that bodies will be stacked for burning.
No one is saying you’re not an ally. We’re just saying things are shit right now, and if you’re careful with how you express yourself the people who are out of their minds with fear might suffer one less panic attack. It’s worth thinking about.
#2: The CDC Scrubs Its Data of QTs
It’s no secret that Trump would prefer queer and trans people not exist, but this development was not particularly expected: data gathered by surveys which is then made public for use by health researchers are a critical resource. Scientists download the data and run tests looking for correlations and in so doing make promising connections for future work. Retrospective use of data like this must always have its results confirmed by new studies designed for the purpose, but without these large data sets guiding which questions are most likely to yield productive research, the people who look after the public health are much less efficient and effective and all of us suffer.
So imagine the surprise when at least one giant, important data set was taken offline. That first data set (there may be others already removed or that will be removed soon) is from Youth Risk Behavioral Surveillance System, and it’s been taken down because the survey asked about sexual orientation and gender. To be clear, it would have been easily possible for the government to maintain the availability of the data but refuse to fund or publish studies referencing the questions about QTs and our specific identities, behaviours, and risk factors. Instead Trump’s minions took it all down, even though it’s perfectly possible to run queries that don’t reference queerness.
How much does the Trump team hate QTs? So much that data that, on its own, does no more than acknowledge our existence is being scrubbed from the internet as we speak.
To those who doubt genocide is advancing on us, they cannot tolerate documentation of our existence. What makes you think they are less opposed to our actual existence?
#3: Death Before Detransition
Content Note: Suicide.
You can be done with this post if you don’t need to read this.
Only those of us ready to read the next bit are still here, right? Okay.
At Syracuse VA Medical Center a patient wrapped themselves in a trans pride flag and jumped off a parking garage with something tied around their neck. They died of hanging. We don’t yet know more.
I have prominently used the phrase “Death before detransition,” over the last few days, on SubStack and BlueSky. I have also been careful to note that the slogan was crafted to emphasize our willingness to fight to the end for our right to be who we are. But I also predicted that some of us would not have the strength for that fight, that some of us would die by suicide because of this MAGA onslaught.
No one, least of all my readers, should be surprised by the accuracy of my prediction. But we can take this as another reminder to check in on the trans people you know, even the ones you barely know at all. You never know, it can be hard to speak with loved ones about our suicidal feelings because we’re aware that telling someone who loves us that we think we’re going to off ourselves this week might be a wee bit distressing.
Now some of us make a lot of noise about feeling suicidal and drive away (by accident or design) those closest to us. Because of the obvious drama in those situations, they are perhaps remembered too often and taken as if more representative than they are. It’s the ones who don’t talk about their plans that are most at risk. I’ve spoken time and again about how social isolation is actually a potent factor — probably the most potent identifiable factor — in determining which persons with suicidal ideation go on to die by their own hands. That’s why sports and chess clubs and such are so good for marginalized kids at risk of depression. It also means that quiet person in the corner not making any noise might need your help more than anyone else.
If you’re in the USA and feeling worthless or helpless or actively suicidal, you can reach out to people who don’t know you, who won’t be traumatized to listen to your story. Call 988 or look up a local resource in your area. It’s fine. They really are happy to talk.
But if that’s not you, if maybe you’re targeted by Trump’s team a little less than others or are simply gifted with more resilience than others, now might be a good time to look around you to see who might be hurting.
Things are bad, y’all. This is the time when we are called upon to love each other, neighbour and stranger. Love is the way we pacifists fight.
Crip Dyke also writes for the delightfully cussmouthed Wonkette!
Who knew trans writers are allowed over 600 followers on BlueSky. It might actually be illegal for you to try to join in.
oh honey. oh fuck.
Good luck with the move. In the best of times, it's so stressful, but this is the worst of times.