Nex Benedict, News, Deadnaming the Dead and Bathroom Panics

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Feb 19, 2024

On February 7th, twelve days ago, in a high school bathroom in Owasso, Oklahoma, three cis girls beat up at least one other student. The student whose last name we know for sure, Benedict, died a day later. None of this is in dispute.

What is also not in dispute is that the student who died was assigned female at birth and was beaten in the girls’ bathroom. What is frequently unmentioned but not directly contested that I know, is that Benedict identified as non-binary and used they/them pronouns. It also appears they chose to go by the name “Nex” or “Nez”, though I’m working on confirmation of that.

Beyond this, much of what has been reported is uncertain. One reported narrative is that the three girls beat Nex Benedict beyond the ability function before a teacher stopped the assault. Benedict was encouraged to visit the nurse, but the teacher did not summon help to get them there or call an ambulance despite at least one student noting that Benedict could not think or walk for themself. Instead a student helped Nex to the office, possibly the nurse’s office, possibly another office, and from there the grandparent Benedict lived with was notified, then came and picked them up from school and took them to the hospital. Police were not notified by the school district, but notified by family later, an officer visited Benedict at the hospital to ask some questions. After receiving some treatment, Benedict was apparently discharged, stayed at home overnight, then returned to the hospital early the next day in a medical crisis. Nex died soon thereafter.

Coverage has been careful to say that it’s not yet certain that the death on the 8th was a result of the assault on the 7th. They’ve been very careful to protect the three who were witnessed striking Benedict’s head against the solid floor, less careful to protect Benedict themself.

It’s also clear that all the initial coverage used she/her pronouns and Nex’s legal first name. Much of the coverage still uses this. As bad as that is, despite no witnesses to mutual combat, press repeatedly asserted that Benedict was “involved in a fight.” (Another phrasing was “involved in a school fight.”) Of course we don’t know this. It is equally plausible that they were victimized in an unprovoked assault, outnumbered and without reasonable means of self-defence. Somehow journalistic caution does not extend to how Nex Benedict has been represented.

There have been sympathetic recountings on the internet. One such is from Pgh Lesbian Correspondents. It relies in part on the KJRH text story that accompanies the video linked above. That reporting says that both Benedict and Benedict’s best friend were attacked by three older girls. The best friend’s mother also claimed that the death was a direct result of the fight:

"I think complications from brain trauma, head trauma, is what caused it," she said.
"I know at one point, one of the girls was pretty much repeatedly beating her head across the floor," she said.

A short obituary tells us that Benedict

was raised and educated in Owasso, Oklahoma, and was currently enrolled as a student at Owasso High School. [They] had a love of nature and caring for cats but particularly loved [their] cat, Zeus. [Nex] enjoyed a variety of pastimes such as watching the Walking Dead, drawing, reading, and playing Ark and Minecraft.

While it’s true that we don’t yet know the motive for the older student’s assault, and we don’t have medical certainty that the assault caused Benedict’s death, there is quite a bit we can say about this already.

First, it was not a tragedy. The assault was an intentional act, apparently by three persons against two younger persons. Attacks like these aren’t tragedies in the manner of a hurricane blowing the roof off of a food pantry. Human choices were made.

Next, it seems clear that Benedict was still referred to by their legal name by at least some people, at least some of the time. That name was very much a living name in that sense. Even so, we don’t know why that name was still alive. Did changing it require parental assistance that wasn’t available while living with their grandmother? Were there other barriers? We don’t know.

But here’s something that we do know: assaults on trans and non-binary people are often performed to punish transness itself, gender violation itself. The point of such assaults when they occur is to erase transness from the community, from society, and ultimately from the attacker’s own awareness. People who attack for such reasons are desperate to rid themselves of any evidence that trans people exist, that trans lives are valid. When such attacks happen and the media coverage ignores or hides indicators of trans and non-binary life and experience, that media coverage is not neutral. That media coverage is taking the side of the person who injures or kills a trans or non-binary person by helping to complete non-violently the same task that the attacker attempted to achieve with violence: erasing gender variance. Erasing gender non-conformance. Erasing gender non-compliance. Erasing gender resistance.

I can’t tell you for certain as of yet that Benedict was non-binary, though there is some reporting that’s true. And I can’t tell you that Benedict was assaulted specifically as a way to punish their resistance to gender boundaries. What I can tell you is that these things are plausible, and if they turn out to be true, I don’t want to have been on the wrong side, aiding erasure, aiding a second and more final death. Because of this, I will use the name Nex gladly and proudly, happy to correct myself later, but never taking the chance of making the greater error that aids in conscious evil. But if I am not wrong, I know, sadly, that not a single person at the media outlets that erased the name Nex, that asserted they were “involved in a fight,” and that ultimately took sides with #TeamHateCrime will suffer the slightest professional consequence.

Joining #TeamHateCrime is normal and expected for journalists covering trans deaths. This is justified in many ways, but perhaps most insidiously by an unspoken agreement that being trans is too horrible, too shameful, to “accuse” a person of gender variance without incontrovertible proof. I would love to see the tag #TeamHateCrime go viral on Twitter, but even if it did is there any evidence that people with the power to change media coverage would care?

Certainly not in Oklahoma. Not only does the evidence of the coverage of Benedict’s death support exactly the opposite conclusion, but the powers outside of newsrooms are hostile to trans lives as well. Twenty-one months ago Governor Kevin Stitt signed an anti-trans bathroom bill requiring trans and non-binary students to use gendered bathrooms based on their sex assigned at birth. While Republicans would have you believe such bills promote students’ safety, Benedict complied then died. Died. There is a direct line between the willingness of the powerful to attack vulnerable and marginalized persons through legislation and the willingness of bullies to attack vulnerable classmates with violence. The GOP has for years encouraged bathroom panics. Eleven days ago they killed a child.

Rest in Power, Nex Benedict. You lived a beautiful life, and though we cannot comfort you now, we can insist on accountability. I will insist on it.