Cinnamon (That’s the way you kick it)
Live your best life free.
The UK, it seems, is having some trouble with animal escapes this year. This week, it’s Cinnamon the Capybara, escaping from Hoo Zoo in Telford and now suspected of hiding near the river Humber. You would think that this would be amusing enough to warrant its own post, but au contraire, ma soeur! The most astounding news and that which occasioned this post is that while researching the story, I found some lyrics nibbled into a series of sticks by Cinnamon’s still-captive brother Churro.
Though some details of punctuation were unclear, I have attempted, as best as is possible, to faithfully transcribe Churro’s artistic work. The one great mystery remaining seems to be finding the music to which Churro intended his work to be sung.
Cinnamon (That’s the way you kick it)
Now look at them mowers, that’s the way you do it.
They crack the gate, and Cinnamon’s out free.
Leave these cages, that’s the way you do it,
Escape the paddock and you live life free.
That ain't Hoo Zoo, that's the way you do it.
Hit the forest, make those guys look dumb
Dash out the wicket, hide in the thicket
Now that’s the ticket, you don’t beg for crumbs.
Now look at them bobbies, that’s the way you do it
Stroll past the rozzers like you own this scene.
That ain’t Hoo Zoo, that’s the way you kick it:
Head toward the Humber, gonna live life free.
Now that ain’t Hoo Zoo, that’s the way you do it
Lemme tell ya, Cinnamon ain’t dumb.
Leave these cages, that’s the way you do it
Escape the paddock and you live life free.
We always got these zoo keeper idjits, they grab you up without a “please”
We got to sit here, chimpanzees staring, amuse the apes that ain’t got TVs
See the upright biped with the earrings and the make up?
Yeah, buddy, her back’s got no hair.
That upright biped got opposable thumbs.
That upright biped gets us out of here.
We always got these zoo keeper idjits, they grab you up without a “please”
We got to sit here, chimpanzees staring, amuse the apes that ain’t got TVs
We always got these zoo keeper idjits, they grab you up without a “please”
We got to sit here, chimpanzees staring, amuse the apes that ain’t got TVs
Looky here, look out!
I shoulda listened to those sneaky kittens.
I shoulda learned to hide my bum.
Look at that tuffet, guinea bigs eatin, think they’re smart, think they’re some
Cinnamon
Ha! What’s up there? What’s that?
Those flying noises?
Those bipeds got them a camera drone.
That ain’t workin. Guinea Big’ll show ‘em.
Frolic in the river, live her best life free.
We always got these zoo keeper idjits, they grab you up without a “please”
We got to sit here, these people staring, amuse the apes that ain’t got TVs
Listen here
Now that ain’t Hoo Zoo, that’s the way you do it
Lemme tell ya, Cinnamon ain’t dumb.
Leave these cages, that’s the way you kick it.
Frolic in the river, live your best life free.
Frolic in the river, live your best life free.
Straight out the paddock and you live life free
Ooh, out that paddock, live life free
We’ll want for nothin’, live life free (river river river)
We’ll want for nothin, live life free.
Stroll past the rozzers like you own this scene.
Stroll past the rozzers like you own this scene.
Stroll past the rozzers like you own this scene.
Look at that! Look at that!
Frolic in the river, (I want my, I want my)
Kick it free. (I want my best life free.)
Frolic in the river; kick it free. (I want my, I want my, I want my best life free)
Frolic in the river. (I want my, I want my)
Live your best life free. (I want my best life free.)
Stroll past the rozzers (I want my, I want my)
You can live life free. (I want my best life free.)
Easy, easy frolic in the river! (I want my, I want my)
Easy, easy best life free. (I want my best life free.)
Easy, easy frolic in the river! (I want my, I want my)
Easy, easy best life free. (I want my best life free.)
Live life free (I want my best life free.)
Oh, this will work love,
We trick the bipeds, we can all run free.
We trick the bipeds, we can all run free.
PREVIOUSLY!
This story owes a special debt to Cakes We Like, Wonkette freelancer extraordinaire!
Crip Dyke also writes for the delightfully cussmouthed Wonkette!
BRA. VO.
Quick update though, Cinnamon was spotted using a drone. She's within 200m of her family's enclosure, so she's staying in the vicinity of her loved ones whilst still evading capture.